The Princess' Heart
by Diana Prallon
Summary: Mithian knew he had been adamant about Arthur not interrupting her sleep – Morgana had taunted her for it, saying that she had enchanted the poor boy, but Morgana knew nothing of Merlin in spite of having known him for long years.


The Princess' Heart

Of all that she had been forced to do, all that she had been and would be responsible for, seeing Merlin hurt was the worst part. Mithian could remember the first time she had seen him, and how he had grown on her as she watched him caring for Arthur, the loyalty and devotion in his eyes. It had hurt to see that he didn't approve of her, and she was sure he had his reasons. When she voiced her concerns, her advisors had told her to let it go, that she wasn't there to charm serving boys, but Camelot's King. Mithian, however, had been around for long enough to notice that Merlin was far more than that – he was Arthur's friend, his closest companion.

Mithian could see why, even then – it was not only about loyalty, but they had a special bond. The way they talked to each other spoke of intimacy and history. Merlin was compassionate (too much so for a man of this time and age), and wise. As she left, she knew deep down that Merlin had known it was coming, and that when he couldn't hide the fact that he didn't think that Mithian should be queen was as much for her sake as it was for Arthur's – a friend's concern over all the heartbreak Arthur would have caused her if they had indeed been together.

When she came back, with nothing to offer and much to ask, he had helped Gaius to take care of her exhaustion, and worried over every tiny detail, trying to make sure she was comfortable. It might have been a bit out of guilt for not having been clear with her in their first encounter, in another man, she might have thought so, but not Merlin. It was just who he was – someone that took care of others, that worried. Mithian knew he had been adamant about Arthur not interrupting her sleep – Morgana had taunted her for it, saying that she had enchanted the poor boy, but Morgana knew nothing of Merlin in spite of having known him for long years.

Merlin was smart, and knew how to read people. The way he looked at her when he went to her chambers to give her the draught prepared by Gaius made her sure that he was suspicious about her story – even if he didn't seem to antagonize her. As they rode out, Merlin made a point to stay around her and Morgana as much as he could. She tried to avoid it, but she could feel the way he stole glances from her, his worried expression.

When she thought of her plan, she had had no doubt about who she should look for help. Merlin was not only resourceful enough to catch her meaning under her simple words, but also brave enough to face their situation without despair. She knew she could count on him to tell Arthur the truth and avoid the trap that had been woven around them.

She just forgot to take into consideration Morgana's own suspicions and her hatred of the boy. A part of Mithian was amazed that she hadn't killed him outright, but, of course, it wouldn't be a good thing to attract too much attention to herself. Unfortunately, even if Merlin had many wonderful qualities, he was also clumsy enough that a fall wouldn't be too much out of character.

The idea of leaving him, his head wounded and his breath shallow, pained him. At least he wouldn't be sacrificed as a lamb by Odin's men. It was a pity that they lost her chance at escaping it and revealing Morgana's true identity, and she felt guilty that she had been responsible for his hurt, but there was nothing she could do now – just hope that Gaius would be able to heal him; and the old man would do anything to save Merlin's life.

It wasn't much, and it wasn't what she wanted. If she could, she would have gladly stayed behind and cared for him as he had done for her; but this could never be, as so many things she wanted to do for him could never be. So she went along with Arthur and Morgana, heading towards their doom, guilt burdening her every step.

No one needed to know that she was leaving her heart behind.


End file.
